Thoughts from General Conference

"There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness . . . How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness"
Elder Wirthlin "Come What May, and Love it" October 2008

I really appreciate Elder Wirthlin's honestly in the face of despair. I think there is oftentimes a Mormon myth that says that if we are disheartened it must be because we lack faith and hope in our creator. While sometimes this is true, I appreciated Elder Wirthlin's understanding that pain, discouragement and loss are a reality and do not necessarily need to be suppressed or "smothered beneath a cloak of pretended happiness" I have passed through days where I avoided being asked a question I dreaded, "How are you?" This simple, everyday question weighed upon me because I knew that the only socially acceptable response was "good" and that, at that time, was a lie or as Elder Wirthlin put it a "pretended happiness"

I know that the Lord does not "shield anyone from grief or sadness" not even, or especially not, his followers. Nowhere in the history of the gospel will you find a follower of Christ that is free from affliction. In fact, it is often those closest to Christ who face the greatest hardships. Why, then, should we feel ourselves any different? It is almost as though an acceptance to follow Christ is accompanied with an invitation to the front door of the refiner's fire. We learn from the scriptures, that "tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope" (Romans 5:3-4)
We know that it is through the afflictions, loneliness, despair and tribulation that our truest self is exposed. It is in these moments that our feeble frailty and weakness are uncovered to reveal a follower of Christ with a great distance still to go. This humble recognition moves us to improve in Christlike attributes such as patience, hope, faith, our charity/understanding towards others and a diligence in consistently doing the Lord's will even when it is unclear. It takes Christlike attributes such as these to not only endure the dark times, but to endure them well.
A good friend shared with me his favorite quote: "a man that has a WHY can stand up to any HOW" Christ and his plan for eternal salvation gives us the "why" to go one more day when the days seem unending. Elder Uchtdorf said, "His goodness, and His power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt, and despair"
Elder Holland is known for sharing his personal insight as to our suffering in connection with that of Jesus Christ. He said,

"Salvation is not a cheap experience. It cost Christ his blood, pain and even his life and it has to cost us a little. How can we call ourselves disciples unless we are willing to suffer? The road to salvation goes through Gethsemane. We can't get to the kingdom of God without walking the path the King walked"

As I read Hebrew 11, which I title the "Hall of Fame of Faith" chapter, it is so clear to me that following Christ can not be equated with freedom from affliction. Abraham, Sara, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses - "all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off" (Hebrews 11:13)
When the future is blurry and when the promises see "afar off" We, like those who earned their place in the "hall of fame of faith" can "[choose] rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season" (:25) and we can know that God provided "better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect" (40)